Click on over here to read this entire roommate ad.
It’s chalk full of profanity, though, so don’t click through if massive quantities of swearing bothers you.
My favorite excerpt: I’ll…cook for you. That’s right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking Southern Cajun cuisine. I’ll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that sh*t in Bearnaise. EVERY. G*DD*MN. NIGHT. Don’t eat meat? That’s f*cking FANTASTIC! I’ll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your f*cking socks off.”